A typically Northern Irish expression also spoken as "face as long as a Lurgan spade" meaning to look miserable or long faced.
One theory about the origin of this expression is that a “Lurgan spade” was an under-paid workman digging what is now the Lurgan Park lake. Another theory is that it is a translation from the Irish language lorga spád meaning the shaft/shin of a spade.
Upon observation you would say...
Tha' wan is the town bike.
That woman over there that we know has such a filthy mouth for suckin on her that she could very possible such a lemon through a narrow pipe.