I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.


I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"


"NO!" the children answered.


"If I cleaned the church every day, manicured the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?"


Again, the answer was "NO!"


"If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?"


Again, they all answered "NO!"


I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"


A little boy shouted out: "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN ' DEAD!"


It's a curious race, the Irish.

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